I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
