I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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