I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
