Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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