She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
