The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
