I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
