from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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