That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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