At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
