so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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