i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
