Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
