when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize