K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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