were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize