every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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