I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
