He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
