3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize