ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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