he thought i was a dude.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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