You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
