end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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