1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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