I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
