Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
