put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize