i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She announced her abortion via fbk
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
