People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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