Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize