i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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