I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
