he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
