Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
