Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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