Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
