only if we run a train.
done.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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