Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The air was thick with penises
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
