My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
