When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
