3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My nipple is on Facebook.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He passed out mid-signature
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
