people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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