I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
