This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
