The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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