hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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