I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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