What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
