My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
