Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
