I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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