My hand turned me down
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
