Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
