is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
