Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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