How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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