i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
