so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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