I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
