Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
